Should I go or should I stay?

Very low expectations I did have on the final MC conference held in Brussels July 2012…. But because my MC experience was a turning point in my career and personal life and because I was already in the Belgian capital I decided to attend the meeting. The conference was organized as a TED conference. What a hell is a TED conference?? Good question… It is a kind of paramount comedy where the speakers manage to communicate their experience or scientific findings in a non-conventional way… promising?? Yes, but also challenging and risky… these fucking ideas about innovation go sometimes beyond the limits…. The agenda was the least promising one I have ever experienced, no breaks, titles of talks without meaning, a participants average age 10 years older than me and half of the theater empty were 'the cover letter' of this conference. On top of that, the first speech was held by Mrs Queen, our loving research commissioner!!! This lady chases me!! And she is so monotonous… snzzz, snzzz…. what are you doing here Alicitas?? At least you brought your reading book…. The conference started and speeches turn out to be much more interesting than expected. After a couple of 'experienced researchers' talking about the similarities, if any, between their research and their children I started recognizing myself on these talks!!!. The main question of the conference ‘should I go or should I stay?’ was the starting or ending point of all the speeches and I agree with them, I have never been asked this question but I considered myself very lucky to have found the correct answer!! Why a failure can become a success?? What happens if a marathon runner injured and starts training swimming and cycling?? Why engineers are unable to communicate their ideas?? Why I hate when people say I am fucking smart when the only thing I did was taking a right decision in the right moment?? Why I decided it is not worth planning future and is better enjoying all the opportunities I have?? I especially recognized myself on those talks given by ERs. The aim of getting out of the statistics, the astonishment when my daily work was considered to be interested by ‘normal’ audience, the feelings when awarded with a national prize, when taking the plane to move to Berlin, the fears of my first lecture at university, the FIESTA campus idea (faculty of innovation, education, science technology and art), the challenge of going to the mensa with your coworkers: what a hell are they talking about? And what food is that??.... I always thought I was surrounded by freaky colleagues because I was a freaky person and working in a dirty and gifting lab (who knows which poisons were penetrating under my skin??) But not!! it seems to be the normal rule regardless the field of research!!! Little Einsteins are definitely from and all around the world!!! After that we received a booklet we were part of… yes guys, there is a chapter devoted to Alicitas…. There are three musts in this life: to have a baby (no idea what you can feel then…., I only have a blood nephew and some ‘adopted’ nephews and nieces….), to plant a tree (I planted some seeds on Mr. Potatoe… is it enough??) and to write a book (I did twice for the time being….). But, definitely, an additional fact should be included: to be part of a book!! Amazing the chicken-skin you experience when looking up you find out your own picture, your name and a short summary of your life!! Thanks to the organizers of the conference for inviting me and those who proposed my name!!